Often when we find ourselves in conflict with a friend, partner or colleague, we just can't understand the other's point of view. How can they think that? How can they hold that opinion?
Most often what's going on here may be the result of wildly different temperaments.
Although our personality can change throughout our lives, we are born with a certain temperament and will have that temperament for life. Our temperament can determine our values, our perspective, and our behaviors. A person's temperament is formed as an infant and never changes.
The Greek physician, Hippocrates, described temperaments as "humours" referring to 4 kinds of bodily fluids which were believed to shape personality.
These 4 humours were:
sanguine - choleric - melancholic - phlegmatic.
Sanguine people had a surplus of blood energy and tended to be obsessive. They also tend to be highly social, extraverted, talkative, collaborative.
Phlegmatic people tend to be passive, introverted, easy-going, calm, indecisive, unemotional, cooperative.
Melancholic people tend to be anxious, perfectionistic, quality and detail oriented. They will often carry a load of guilt, seeking others' approval.
Choleric people are goal oriented, extroverted, independent and strong-willed. They are the risk-takers, creative and opinionated.
One can find more contemporary versions of temperament types in the Myers-Briggs: https://www.myersbriggs.org/my-mbti-personality-type/take-the-mbti-instrument/
The Keirsey Temperament Sorter:
I have found that knowing and understanding your temperament and the temperaments of those close to you, can really be helpful in relationships.
WHAT'S YOUR TEMPERAMENT?