Relationships. Long term marriages. Always fascinating, often problematic. If you can think back through history, you'll see that men and women married for practical reasons: He, brought home the bacon (or the avocados...); She took care of the house, the kids, the social life. Then, somewhere in the 1960s, many of us threw stereotypical roles out the window, and pretended we were all the same, and everyone could do everything, equally well. That didn't quite work out - as an

First, I'd like to thank Antra and Rich Borofsky, two of the best relationship therapists I know, for introducing me to this protocol. Often in intimate relationships, an argument or even a discussion turns into a contest about who gets heard. In extreme situations, this may result in both partners escalating emotionally and raising their voices to be heard over the other partner. What each of the partners is saying by their behavior is that they want to be heard, and don't

It's been a while since I've posted here, and since discovering that there are well over 300 of you following me, I want to introduce myself to all of you. I named my work "To Life Coach" because "L'Chaim!" is a traditional Jewish toast literally translated as "to Life!". When I think of these words, I am reminded of Zorba the Greek's 'declaration in response to the question regarding whether he had ever been married: "...wife, children, house, everything. The full catastroph

So long as I can remember, emotions have been categoritzed as good or bad; POSITIVE emotions, or NEGATIVE emotions. Ones we want and crave and others we try to push away. This lines up well with the underlying problem with the human condition: Our tendency to judge things constantly and to often act irrationally; to obsess about what we crave and shrink from what we dislike puts us into an ongoing roller coaster of life's experiences. It also wastes a huge amount of our preci

Anger Is not good or bad. It simply is. Our culture often refers to anger as a “negative” emotion, implying that there are positive and negative emotions, desirable and undesirable feelings. That is not to say that some feelings FEEL better than others, and anger much of the time feels tight, tense and frightened but still, it’s part of our human experience. Feelings and thoughts are always coming and going- some invited into our minds and bodies, and some which barge in to o

I was raised in a Conservadox home, where my mother shared intellectual understanding of Judaism, and my dad set the tone for Orthodox...

We all feel overwhelmed from time to time. It's part of the speed-driven world we live in. So many details. So many demands. I've learned...

I've been MIA for almost 4 years, and I can't believe it's been that long! I've been having a great time teaching, seeing clients, making...

At a recent event I attended, I asked a dozen or so people what they learned during COVID. Most spoke of the importance of relationships....

As friends and family proudly confirm they are now fully vaccinated, parties and family gatherings are back. I, for one, have now spent...

Our modern history has made "love" the Holy Grail of life. Everyone wants it. Some can't find it. Others seem to lose it. Marrying for...

Naomi is an excellent coach. She is particularly effective at helping you determine the pros and cons of choices that you may be faced...

The Gottman Institute and the @LoveLab have been sources of education about relationships for decades. The Gottmans have studied...

William Shakespeare said it best in his sonnet 116. This is an excellent mantra for all kinds of relationships. Most of us fall in love...

Often when we find ourselves in conflict with a friend, partner or colleague, we just can't understand the other's point of view. How...

In response to the usual, "How are you?" I often hear "I'm slammed." "I'm flat out". "I'm crazy". Really? Is that now an acceptable...

https://www.npr.org/2020/06/02/867905101/want-to-be-happier-evidence-based-tricks-to-get-you-there?utm_source=npr_newsletter&utm_medium=e...

Is love a feeling? Is it something you want, give, take? How is it that arranged marriages have similar success rates to marriages where...

Life is challenging. During COVID19, it has become even more challenging, with the most normal of human activities and behaviors (think:...